Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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