If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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