this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
