That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
