so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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