Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
