The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
