Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
