Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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