oh god the rape fog is back!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
