My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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