Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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