And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
