His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
