we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
