i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
