the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
