wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
