Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
