I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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