Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
