Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
