i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
