super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
