Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
All I want is dick and wine.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
