kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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