I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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