someone get that fucking seahorse.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
