he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
