I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
