Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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