yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
