absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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