the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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