we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
