im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
