so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
