Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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