I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
