i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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