He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
