Girls should come with a carfax report
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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