i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
