I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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