he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
