My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
