wanna go halves on a baby?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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