Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
