Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
