did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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