I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Terrible idea I love it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
