ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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