i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
