Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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