when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She is in my trunk
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
