omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm passing your future prison.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
