look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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