I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
