4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
