apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
