You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
