You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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