peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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