I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
