her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
