Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
