Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
